Infant to 3rd Grader?!?!

So yesterday's blog was about the fact that I can't believe Lauren is entering Kindergarten. While it's crazy that she could possibly be old enough to start school, how is it that Zack is entering 3rd grade? I remember that first day of Kindergarten so very well. We dropped him off in Mrs. Hanlon's classroom; mixed emotions of excitement and anxiety for Mom. I managed to make it through the drop-off without tearing up. I was amazed and impressed with myself. Well it all fell apart when I got to my car and realized that I was leaving my little man behind. How was he going to handle being around so many kids that were bigger than him? What if he got lost in that big school? Haha I spent the morning shopping in order to distract myself from worrying about him. Of course it was all for naught. He loved his first day and wasn't nearly as anxious as I'd been. It's so hard for me to believe that three years has passed since that day. My boy is now entering the upper tier of elementary. He'll now be going to recess and eating lunch with 3rd and 4th graders. It would have been nice for Lauren if she had her brother for those activities during her first year, but I'm sure that Zack will enjoy being separate.

Infant to Kindergartener?!?!

How can it be possible that my baby girl is going to be starting school a week from today? People constantly tell you to cherish every moment because the time goes by too quickly. Boy does it ever! It seems like just yesterday that this beautiful, blue-eyed girl stole my heart. Now we're shopping for school clothes and supplies. I've been telling myself that I'm going to refuse to cry on that first day (primarily because I didn't want to do so in front of Mark), but I'm fairly certain that no amount of restraint will keep the emotions in. I mean I could cry right now just thinking about it! Haha

Mackinac Girls Weekend

As a child, I was always thankful for the amazing family that I had. It wasn't until I grew to be an adult that I truly learned to appreciate just how unique our group really is. I've been around many families over my lifetime and none even begin to come close to projecting the love we have for one another. I saw examples of this throughout my divorce, our tragic loss and yet again more recently during our girls' weekend on Mackinac Island. I am so blessed to be a part of this nutty family. We know best how to live, laugh and love!

Grandma - You are an amazing woman that I admire greatly! Throughout a lifetime of loss, you still manage to put a smile on your face. Thank you for starting this insanity.

Mom - Where do I begin? You truly are my BEST FRIEND, and I don't know where I'd be without you. I appreciate that you listen to and share in my burdens and happiest moments. I can only hope that Lauren and I maintain the kind of relationship that we have!

Aunt Teri - I've always struggled to feel close to you since you live the furthest away. Thank you for including me on this trip. I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend with you. If flashing you my naked self doesn't help us to bond, I don't know what will! LOL

Aunt Shelle - You have always reminded me most of my mom, and for that, you hold a special place. I'm not sure if I ever fully recognized just HOW much you two are alike until that weekend. You have such a kind, loving demeanor... and you're crazy as hell.

Heidi - I don't know how you managed to turn into a grown woman, but you certainly have. I admire your carefree nature. You truly love life! Hold onto that sweetheart, because you'll need it most when life tests you. It seems like just yesterday that I was wearily changing your tiny diapers in your Baby Disney themed nursery at the trailer, or being tortured by hours and hours of Barney all weekend long. Whether you like it or not, you'll always be my baby girl.

Kayleigh - I wish I'd had more of an opportunity to watch you grow into the young woman that you are now. I have such few memories of your childhood. I can certainly remember the summer your mom watched me while my babysitter was on vacation. You were so adorable; pudgy cheeks and puke! LOL I'm grateful for the time we spent last year finally getting to know each other. I respect you for your strong values and hope you hold onto them forever!

Unexpected

I have certainly had enough first-hand experience lately to learn that life constantly changes and is full of unexpected twists and turns. One minute you think you have everything figured out, and everything has flipped the next.

I lost a marriage that I honestly thought was forever; causing me to go from the full-time mom and wife that I always expected to be to a single, part-time mom.

I went from owning a home with the goal of being debt-free from it in as little as 10 years to living in an apartment paying rent.

I lost an uncle that always knew how to make me smile and was the patriarch of a one-of-a kind, amazing family.

I met an amazing man that I'm blessed to have in my life while convinced that I'd never love again.

Of all the twists and turns of late, the one I never expected was to sever ties with the best friends I'd ever known. After months of emotions running high, I had finally come to accept that God clearly had other plans for me and I needed to move on. Well as I've mentioned before, things change when you least expect it. I'm excited about the prospect of having my closest friend back in my life! I realize that wounds can't heal overnight, but I'm grateful for each step granted. Thank you God for bringing her back to me. I'm blind to the lesson the past five months of torture was supposed to teach me, but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually. haha

Renewed Hope

I don't know if it's a product of the abundant sunshine I soaked up in Florida this past week or the love that surrounds me on a daily basis, but I have discovered this renewed sense of hope recently. Just a few weeks ago, I was constantly in tears and had sought professional assistance for coping with the loss of some close relationships. Today, I actually feel whole. I realize the many blessings I have in my life and don't want to take them for granted. I'm going to continue moving forward and do so with a smile on my face. Otherwise, what's the point of living?